Dark Souls 2 is actually good! Elden Ring is overrated!

Friday, September 20. 2024.

It's been ages since I wrote on her, a month exactly. Things have been getting better for me thankfully, though I hope I don't jinx it. Besides that I have been playing Dark Souls 2 and I never would of thought I would actually enjoy that game. Everyone dunks on it like it's genuinely bad, but I have been enjoying a lot. There are so many places, the atmospheres are so well made, and I don't know almost a thing which makes it exciting. Everyone goes crazy over Elden Ring and blah blah, like yeah it's okay but it isn't amazing. I've finished Dark Souls 3 and Sekiro, and from playing Elden Ring it honestly isn't the "greatest." The open world concept is cool, but I feel like it's doing too much with it and places either become generic or empty, like areas around that swampy/lake area or the edges of the map. It's a stretch but souls games are great at being linear, games like DS2 and DS3 let the map take the player linearly to one last spot, but also allow it to branch off to make it feel open. Not to mention I really feel like the music was weird and lackluster in Elden Ring. The only good stuff is like Godrick the Grafted's theme, Radahn's, and maybe the Godskin Apostle's. All the other music for bosses or fights plays weirdly, or is just bonified ambience. I get it; it's important to change things up and Elden Ring did that especially. However, I really felt like they should of just kept the style of music more akin to DS3 or Bloodborne because it felt powerful, daunting and beautiful. Like Yhorm's theme, Gael's, Armour's, and I could go on. I know it's crazy I'm knit picking over music but it is what really leaves an impression on me and gives me that sense of immersion, because if I am thinking in my head "This music sucks" or "This music is really mediocre", then it's distracting me from being able to enjoy a fight or environment. I probably just need to come back to it again since with a lot of souls games I take a break before coming back and finishing them.

I do like a lot of things about the game, like the locations and items, the new characters and so on. But man, the difficulty curve is rough. "Just get good" I can already hear you say. I get it yeah lol your original dude. But the thing about games like these are you need to be able to play without having to worry about doing an obscure cheesing mechanic or investing into a magic build, you could be able to find your own way without having to change classes. Oh my gosh Margret's (I don't know how his names spelled) second encounter, the one where you meet him up before entering the snowy area, is probably the worst example of this. It's just an onslaught of his magic spells, then attacks. You probably spend 99% of your time in that fight dodging and then healing, the remaining going into actually attacking him. He is relentless in that fight and he either backs up or pivots at lightning speeds to see you. Yeah he is supposed to be a tough boss, but you need very brief moments to attack a boss, otherwise it's pretty much pointless. Also, if you think magic builds are safe, he dodges magic spells, too.

Well despite that, because of all the DS2 gameplay I have been getting distracted. I was making a drawing of my Dark Souls 2 character, a sorcerer, but ended up using the excuse of "I want to find a new outfit to reference and draw off of." So I played for a disgusting amount of time before realizing I wasted so much time. I'll be honest; I feel really bad for doing it but at the same time I genuinely haven't played a videogame in like 3-4 months. I'll get back into drawing.

I might as well put a little sneak peak of the drawing. Even though it's just a bust of the full drawing it should give kind of a good idea of what the drawing will be.

I'm probably going to discontinue that whole hyper-realistic "escritoire" thing and turn this area into a normal blog.

So what else.. well honestly just going into adulthood. It's really weird and scary because every year means more responsibilities and more expectations. If there is anything I am glad about, though, it is that I am out of high school. Going to school is seriously soul crushing. Being able to be out and doing your own things is so refreshing.

Actually getting better to an extent.

Monday, August 19. 2024.

So lately I have been working on my new diary webpage. This one is going to be far more interesting and very interactive. The moment it's out for everyone it won't be complete yet, because I will be adding a lot more stuff. I am sort of tempted to begin adding javascript to it soon since it would give it more depth, but at the same time I don't really like having to use it if it means people may block it or not be able to load it in. Either way there'll be a day where I'll need to use it.

Besides that, I've been making a lot of art. Both for the website but also just for myself. I have been using a lot more different shading techniques and rendering techniques that have seriously given my art a glow up (first time I used that term LOL). I'll be making more to post onto here, but I have learned to take my time and it has honestly been both super nice on me and also allowed me to take my time on art. I have always struggled with taking my time on things in general, but I have been getting much better about it. Slowing down just helps you process things better. It's like eating too fast, too much all in one sitting can make you fatter, or not enjoy the food as much, or make you feel sick.

I'm still practicing choosing my own colors though. I have been studying different color palettes and it has honestly helped me out a lot. I love drab colors but also really fun colors that just pop. Seriously though, values change your art so much, understanding them allows you to experiment with different colors for shading and highlights.

The desk graphic, on the other hand.. it isn't the worst. I am really good at drawing characters, but I need to work on making backgrounds. I was really good with the rendering on the desk, but I feel like the shapes were just really squishy, like they aren't super rigid, and the detailing is too dirty and needs to be simplified. However I just really needed to get something out so I could begin setting stuff up for the new Diary/Blog/Escritoire page. After I get all that sorted out, the Portfolio page and ultimately the Contacts page will be worked on. I'm still thinking on what the Portfolio page will look like but I got time.

I go to college soon. I'll be honest, I am sort of apprehensive about it just because I don't know if I'll meet people who'd like me. I'll be going in pretty much new, and I'm also someone who chooses his friends more selectively. I guess I should be thankful I'm not in High School anymore because that was an absolute slog. Every day felt really tiring, everyone at the school felt distant, nobody was really happy, everyone lacked spirit. The school tried to fix it but they couldn't because people are tired of how school is right now. Seriously, why do we still do this whole "7 hours of sitting in desks learning things you don't care about"? Especially for your teen years, you could be trying jobs or working internships that could teach you skills and things that you like versus what you don't. That is how school should be, a preparation for life by getting experience rather than being peddled by equally miserable teachers. Of course, school districts could care less because it doesn't affect them. But everyone directs hatred towards teachers. Sure, they made the assignments and directed it to you, but it isn't like they are really enjoying going to school earlier than you, grading for hundreds and thousands of students daily and weekly.

And I ranted again.. that's kind of the purpose of this whole diary thing as well, to just dump my thoughts.

French Desks.

Saturday, August 17. 2024.

Lately I have been thinking about updating the look of this page, the escritoire, which is essentially my blog page. An escritoire is literally just a desk but it's specialized for writing. I don't know how I got the idea but I just did. I thought it would of been more interesting than just calling it a blog. I'm thinking of doing something more animated/special, like having each year be filled in a journal.

For this website I was going in pretty blind for my design choices, I just wanted something that I could call "mine." It's an impulsive behavior, if you would even consider it that way, where I felt the need to make something. But sometimes it doesn't feel genuine. The visual design of point and click games, for example, really inspire me. Games like Machinarium give off a sort of "story book" feeling that I feel like a lot of other games can't emulate. Of course, every game gives it's own vibe, but I really like ones that make me feel nostalgic, and I really want something that feels both true to me and others, not creating a facade or what people expect.

None of this really makes sense since I'm just rambling, but I have high expectations that end up always making me feel bad.

Creating this website.

Thursday, August 15. 2024.

Man, I am still not done, but I have come quite a far way from where I was previously. The website looked too bland for it's colors. Of course it still looks nothing like other people's websites, I just need to continue working on it. With this tab, I am super excited because I get to actually put in some more personal stuff, and finally have a legit social media in a sense .

Besides that, it's going to be my first year in college. Super weird. Hopefully I could inspire some new friends to make their own websites, so we can all connect through neocities instead of more modern social media .

It really does feel like we lost something when we transitioned into modern social media. Having a personal website almost feels like things only tech nerds do, and now every normie in existence has their lab grown page that is pretty much the same as everyone else's . I hope, as time moves on, people begin to move towards platforms like neocities or mastodon and begin becoming more creative, rather than spending hours scrolling mindlessly.

But really, whenever you tell people about your website, they normally think it's for some kind of business or side hustle, rather than something personal or fun like a social media page. The thought of making/having your own website sounds too far fetched for peeps nowdays. Not saying all of this out of anger or anything but it's more sad if anything. People don't really have a place on the internet and it feels like the internet became this big tech conglomerate. Which isn't completely true, people have way more influence than they think ! Like always, I'll continue working on this site, and hopefully inspire people to make some of their own, because there isn't anything more fun to see than what other people can make!